Have you got a problem you don't know how to handle? Ask Aunt Emily and see if she can help you. Aunt Emily is not a certified therapist, but she has been through years of living and, at 78 years of age, she knows many of the answers to many of life's challenges.

Dear Aunt Emily:
am a 24-year-old professional who previously called off an engagement to a man my parents did not care for. We have recently renewed our relationship and are dating again. My parents' opinion is very important to me, but I feel they are wrong about him.. They have a deep affection for a previous boyfriend. (so much so that they have taken him on family vacations when I was unable to attend) How can I re-introduce my former fiancee into my family life? He gets very nervous around them, do you have any advice about how to reduce the tension?

Dear Aunt Emily:
Im 19 soon, and i have been seeing my boyfriend for a very long time now and we are very much in love with each other, he even proposed to me and i said yes, and i cant wait to get married, but the problem is...my father doesnt know about him, he doesnt actually like the fact of me dating, as he is very strict and protective when it comes to his girls, i want to know how i can tell him about my soon to be husband without him going mad? Im scared of his reaction, plz can u help me?

Dear Aunt Emily:
My cousin visited us along with other relatives for about two hours. They would not accept anything to drink, water, soda, etc. They would not accept food. Later I found that after leaving our house they all went out to a restaurant. Why were we not included?

Dear Aunt Emily:
I have this horrible boyfriend problem. First, we went to a friends birthday party which was held at the drive-in. There were girls and guys at this party. There was this girl there named Ally. My boyfriend goes up to Ally and poors water on her. Then they start a water fight. When cake came he smushed the cake in her face. Then Ally does the same in return. Meanwhile, I can tell what's going on and I get irritated. I feel like I'm not even there, I feel like he doesn't even know I'm here. What should I do Em? PLEASE HELP!

Dear Aunt Emily:
I work with a lady who constantly swishes spit in her mouth and it drives me nuts! I try to ignore it but it's very distracting. I'm so annoyed at times, it's hard to be nice to her . What should I do?

Dear Aunt Emily:
I found out 4 months ago my husband has had an affiar. He says it is over they are not even talking, but I don't know if he is telling the truth or lying. What does the future hold for our marriage and is he still seeing or talking to the other woman?

Dear Aunt Emily:
I am fifteen years old, and am going to be a cheerleader my sophomore year. Three of my friends are taking modeling classes which have major potential of making it big. I feel I am not pretty enough to become a model, and modeling classes are very expensive. I feel that over ninth grade, I gained a lot of weight. Thus, I made the decision to stop eating.. period! So, I don't eat anything and when I look at pictures of myself I look really sick. But when I look at myself in the mirror, I don't see that same person. I see someone who is very fat and has a major weight problem. Is there any other way to lose weight without my parents worrying about me?

Dear Fit or Fat:
I'm so very glad you wrote me about this particular problem, my dear. You have got the wrong idea about the correct way to lose weight, look healthy and get fit, so read this carefully, because Aunt Emily knows just how to lose weight and look great! First of all, your body has to have fuel in order to burn calories, so not eating means that you are running on empty all of the time. You need to eat foods that will be healthy and portion sizes that are reasonable. Go to the library and check out a book on nutrition. Find out what you should be eating and eat those items in the specified portions for your age, height and weight. Next, you MUST exercise! You put good, healthy, clean food into your body and then you burn it up with exercise. It makes sense, doesn't it? You also need to drink lots of fresh water. Here is a big secret that I'll bet your friends don't know: water is terrific for your complexion AND its a natural moisturizer. You should drink two quarts of water every day. One of those sports bottles is about a quart, so you need to drink two of those bottles each day. I think you should try to keep this as simple as possible, so here is what you need to remember: 1) eat fresh, low fat foods, including lots of veggies and fruits, 2) drink two quarts of water every day, 3) exercise for 30-60 minutes 3-5 days per week, and 4) stay away from sweets and fatty foods. My daughter was a beautiful, thin girl when she was your age - and she ate like a horse! She loved fruits and water, cucumbers and salads and carrots and boneless, skinless chicken - yum! Once you start eating good, healthy foods regularly, that is what you will crave, believe it or not! Finally, I want you to talk this over with your mom or dad, whichever one does the cooking and food buying in your house. Your mom can help you if you let her, you know. Please, please, don't starve yourself! Its a terrible habit to get into and it is gravely dangerous to your health, darling, so you must eat. Go to your mom and dad and ask what they think about your figure - they will probably tell you the truth. I know its hard to believe, but ten years from now you won't know most of the kids who seem so important to you right now, but you will still have a relationship with your mom and dad. You should try to trust them a bit more and worry a lot less about what the other kids in school think about you. If you don't have a good relationship with your mom or dad and can't talk to them, please feel free to email me back and talk it over. Learn to love yourself as you are, my dear, and the rest of the world will fall in step with you.

Dear Aunt Emily:
Me and my wife are about to become separated. I don't want her to go but it seems after talking with her she feels she has to leave. We have been going through some very trying times. We bought a house that had so many problems that even after living here for three years the house seems more torn up then it did when we moved in. Another problem we have is we have two dog and five cats. The cats don't seem to bother us much but the dogs seem to be a constant bother, plus one of the dogs does not allow stranger into our house, so we can never get away. Finally and maybe the biggest problem of all is, I am a very insecure person to begin with. I feel I do not please her sexually. She has always told me that is not a problem but being insecure I always feel jealous and try to be close to her all the time. She tells me I am too clingy. I really want to work things out with her and feel I have waited too long. I hope you can help!

Dear Love sick:
I believe that marriage is a committment that should be upheld, even in the most trying of circumstances. I once asked my grandmother what her secret was for staying married for 53 years to my grandfather. She said, "Emily, you've got to love 'em and you've got to want 'em." (She was from Texas). Marriage is a long, long thing - meaning that when you take vows to be married, its going to be for a darned long time. Since nobody is perfect, we are each going to have to put up with a lot of crud along the way. My husband does things that drives me nuts, and I know for a fact that I do things that make him nuts, but we stay married because we love each other and we want each other. The fact is that your wife picked you out and you picked her out and you got married. If you get a divorce I guarantee that she will pick out another guy just like you and you will pick out another girl just like her and you will end up with the same darned set of problems. The only difference is that you'll have to start all over again with a brand spanking new person and have to spend the years it takes to get to know him or her well enough to start working on the same set of problems! So, in other words, you should just stick to the husband or wife you've got and each work on yourself to see what your own part is in causing the unhappiness. You clean up your side of the street and you'll be suprised at how much your wife will change. It is not really the external situations and events that cause marital problems, but the internal workings of the marriage that cause a separation. However, its a good idea to try to make your marital environment as comfortable as possible for you both. Sit down with your wife and make some decisions about what you can do to cut down on the number of varmints you keep in your home. Make it a number that you can each feel comfortable having in the house. Find out what you can do to concentrate your efforts in resolving the major thing about the house that is causing her discomfort and fix that problem. Now, about the sexual question - I think that by the time we are all grown up the men know how to do it and the women know how to do it and we are all pretty proficient in bed. If you have problems in bed with one woman or man, you will have the same darned problems in bed with the trade-in model. Trust Aunt Emily on this one. The reason you will have the same problems with the trade-in model is because YOU will be in bed with this new person! I promise that if you hang in there with each other, get more comfortable with one another, and get to know each other better - your sex life will continue to improve as the years go by. Its funny the way it works, but it takes quite a few years to start to feel relaxed and comfortable with someone. Lets say if you've only known a guy or a girl for two years - gosh, you don't know them well enough to let your hair down. Maybe Sharon Stone does, but the average woman doesn't. I think you should quit worrying about your performance and start thinking about how you and your wife can get to know each other better and how you can relax your wife. Give her a back rub first or something. If you stop thinking about yourself in bed, you can concentrate on making her happy. When she is happy - you'll be happy. When she is happy - you'll feel you have fulfilled her completely. Then you won't be so clingy. Finally, I would do anything to prevent a separation, if possible. All it will do is set the table for a divorce. It will also cost you a lot of $$$ that you could better spend repairing problems that are causing you discomfort. Sit down with your wife and take an inventory of your marriage. Do it on paper. Don't get upset with one another. Remember to be kind. If we aren't able to be kind to one another in our home, it makes the world a terrible place in which to live. Your inventory should outline which problems are just completely unacceptable, which are merely inconvenient, and which are just part of marriage and are unavoidable. Set up a list of priorities. Maybe if you can concentrate on improving the main problem that is driving your wife nuts you can make her feel like you are willing to work toward resolving issues that drive a wedge between you and cause unhappiness. My husband and I have been through the wringer with one another in our years of marriage. There have been many times I have looked at him and thought, "What in the heck do I see in him?" Later, it seems to evaporate and I'm as crazy about him as ever. When we have had our darkest moments and I have been sure that he was ready to walk out of the door, I have prayed and asked God to help me resolve the problem at hand. Its strange how it can work, but I have gone into the bedroom while my husband is in the living room saying he was ready to walk out, prayed, then come out of the bedroom and he apologizes out of the blue. Go figure. You will feel more secure as you put one foot in front of the other and walk through your life. Maturity brings a sense of greater security. Just take life one day at a time and do what you know to be right each and every day. Work hard. Try your hardest. Good luck and hang in there - it will get better with time.

Dear Aunt Emily:
I am only 14 years old. I like a girl at school, "Lisa". I asked her out, as a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. She told me her father was really strict and didn't want her going out with anyone. The next week she went out with one of my friends. I have daily contact with her, and we are good friends. But she makes it a point to rub it in that she goes out with "Chris." What do I do.....or say? Is there any hope. I am so depressed about this. I like "Lisa" a lot........A VERY LOT!!!

Dear Likes:
When you are 14 years old it can seem like you are standing at the door just waiting for your life to begin and you think its never going to happen. You have the whole rest of your life to meet girls and make relationships. Don't worry - it will happen sooner or later. Really special people don't just find one another every day. Think about that. If you are cool and special, then you will probably end up with someone who is also very cool and special. Now, do girls like that come along every day? No, they don't. Beautiful, special girls shouldn't just give themselves away to anyone, should they? I mean, if you are a really terrific person, shouldn't you stand back from jumping into a relationship with just anyone? I'll bet you are a cool guy - am I right? If you are, then you don't want to get involved with just anyone either. You should really get to know a girl before you make up your mind that you want her to be your girlfriend, because relationships are important and they can have a great effect on your life. Lets look at something else: She said she couldn't go out with you because she wasn't allowed to date boys yet, then started to date your friend. This means she hasn't been truthful or honest with you. Do you want to get into a relationship with a girl who isn't honest? She is playing games with you. Don't respond to her game. Just pretend - fake it until it is true - that you don't care what they do. Pretend. Accept the fact that 1) she doesn't want to go out with you, and 2) she isn't worth your effort to date. Let your friend suffer instead (remember - he has ended up with someone who can be untruthful). Finally, I want you to think about this: My older brother was one of the most handsome, popular boys in my high school. He was a straight-A student, played several sports really well, and he was a great guy. Do you think he dated alot of girls? Heck, no! He sat home most Saturday nights, unless he had something to do with his group of friends. Everyone in high school believes that everyone else is out having this wonderful time all weekend - and most of them are home watching reruns of the Brady Bunch! Oh, and another thing you may not know - guys who get straight-A's and keep their noses clean end up becoming successful adults. They go to college and meet the REALLY cool girls, buy the nice cars, have great families and create a home for them. So don't worry about this girl and your pal at school - they aren't worth it. Now be a good boy and go give your mom a kiss for Aunt Emily.

Dear Aunt Emily:
I was hoping you might be able to help with a question that I have. I will be marrying my sweetheart in a few months and as seems to be the case we are having a very difficult time trying to make up invitation lists that everyone can agree on. One problem has come up that I hope you might be able to shed some light on. My fiancee's parents are throwing a very extravagant wedding and both families have invited all of our close friends and relatives. The problem lies in the fact that my parents are planning on having some type of rehearsal dinner the night before. Our two parents got together and decided that we should not invite everyone to the rehearsal dinner because the expense would be very high for my parents and that we did not want to have two parties of that size two days in a row, plus a fancy rehearsal party would detract from the main festivities of the next day. We have thus decided that we would have a rehearsal dinner with only the wedding party. The problem lies in that my fiancee's aunt is very close to the family and her two daughters are in the wedding party. She insists on coming to the rehearsal party so she doesn't feel left out. I completely understand her desire. The question is that if she is invited then are my aunts to be invited as well. If they are invited then are their children to be invited (my cousins) and so on. . . My fiancee's aunt is very close and no one really wants to keep her out, but we feel like if we don't follow the strict guidelines then we will be alienating everyone. My fiancee says that since she is throwing an engagement party for us then we become obliged to invite her. I feel that if she is nice enough to throw us a party then it should be because she wants to and should not have strings attached. We think we may have solved the problem by making her part of the wedding party, but we feel as if we have gone in the back door to get her into the rehearsal dinner rather than just inviting her because we want to. Any help you have would be greatly appreciated.

Dear Groom:
Congratulations on your engagement! I wish you the very best of love and marriage. Its nice to start out the right way and, if you are already willing to listen to older folks, you sound like you have a good chance. The answer is, yes, you should invite your aunts to the rehearsal dinner. The whole family participates in the rehearsal dinner, the idea being that if they have taken the time to come into town to share your wedding day with you, it is hospitable to invite them to the rehearsal dinner. You may also have close friends that have gone to the expense to travel to your area, perhaps pay for a hotel - just to be here for you and your family - and they should also be included. If this makes your dinner group larger than your parents had anticipated they should scale down the cost of each individual dinner. In other words, the rehearsal dinner is supposed to be fun, relaxed, and inclusive - not small and exclusive. Rather than take 15 people for steak and lobster, why not take the pressure and expense out of this and have 25 people for pizza and soda pop? Its easy to lose sight of the fact that the true purpose of the rehearsal dinner is to provide a supper for your friends and family that have gone to the trouble to come into town and/or over to the church for your event. Your friends and family would probably enjoy a relaxed, low-key dinner with lots of joking and the whole gang there. Conversely, your dear aunties would remember feeling left out forever. Good luck, dear.

Dear Aunt Emily:
My son has been driving me crazy by laying around the house all day and refusing to get a job. What should I do?

Dear Sick:
You did not mention how old your son is, so I am going to guess he is an adult. Your son must be a pretty smart guy, because he has figured out a clever way to live for free. You are enabling him to have a free ride in life. This is your own fault, so don't feel too sorry for yourself. Give him 30 days to find a job and move out. At the end of the thirty days tell him to move, whether he has a job or not. This will teach your brilliant son a new lesson: that he has to work. Next, give yourself a pat on the back because you stopped doing something that was bad for your kid and decided to do him a favor and force him to be a man.

Dear Aunt Emily:
Another kid keeps beating me up on the playground. I'm 10 and I go to school in Palermo. I told my mom, but she is busy working.

Dear J:
Tonight while you are eating dinner I want you to tell your mother about getting beat up at school. Tell her, "Mom, I'm scared to go to school because a kid there keeps beating me up." Your mom loves you and she sounds like she is busy, but you need to keep trying to let her know about this mean kid. Also, talk to your grandpa or one of your uncles about this and see if they can give you some tips on how to keep from fighting at school.